Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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