Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
