oh god the rape fog is back!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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