Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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