ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
