I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
