My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
