What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
