For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
