TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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