So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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