Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
