Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
