Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
