Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
