in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
honey bunches of taint.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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