It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
