This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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