Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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