The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize