She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
