OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
kristin has been a bad kristin
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
