Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
