billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
where are my eyebrows?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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