You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
