Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
being pregnant is like rehab
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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