somebody snuck up and got me drunk
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
