I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
