I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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