Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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