dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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