Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
