I cannot find my penis.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
