i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
