Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
