i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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