two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
No I am not eating basil off your cock
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
