Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
