I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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