Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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