oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize