Midget sex pt 2 tonight
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
