Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
