Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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