Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
