were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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