so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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