I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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