i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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