it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
