Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
