guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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