i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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