He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
