I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize