home. puking in laundry basket.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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