Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
