smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
